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Keywords:

• I don’t have enough daddy issues

Comment: for this shit, make him go away

Description: credit @ kinam on dw!!

Keywords:

• I'm just trying to figure out

Comment: the reason why humans wear socks....

Keywords:

• Dude I cant right now.

Comment: Were talking about pickles.

Keywords:

• no sex with a mint flavored condom

Comment: my vagina is on fire

Keywords:

• At what point did i decide

Comment: poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?

Keywords:

• I think a major source of concern

Comment: would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?

Keywords:

• No but seriously.

Comment: Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie

Keywords:

• I got up and left his place at 3am

Comment: because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.

Keywords:

• I just kept eating

Comment: and watching him slide down the stairs head first

Keywords:

• Did you get drunk

Comment: between now and two texts ago?

Keywords:

• Look get the dick out ur mouth

Comment: and answer the phone

Keywords:

• you tried to fight the cop

Comment: you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...

Keywords:

• She's like a squirrel.

Comment: She spazzes out all the time.

Keywords:

• I gave him blue balls

Comment: & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...

Keywords:

• I'm passing your future prison.